Here's what you should know about hose and compression in general. Should you find yourself a thirty-something trapped in a seventy-somethings body, you'll be somewhat of an expert.
1:
All those layers really make the junk in the trunk seem bigger, not smaller as "compression" would suggest.
2:
Not all hose are created equal. I, apparently, have been wearing the ones prescribed for little ladies who can't get their hose up.
3:
Once you take them off and stand up, you really can't get them back on. No amount of cornstarch will help.
4:
They mean it when they say cut your fingernails and take off your rings.
5:
They will make your pants and underwear slide down all day, forcing you to pull up your pants constantly.
6:
There really isn't any such thing as a "no-show toe seam". You and everyone else will see it. Don't attempt to wear open toe anything.
7:
You will feel like you are 200º all the time. This may make you want to go sock-less. Refer to number 6.
8:
Try not to let your husband see any part of the compressing routine. The sweating, stuffing, straining is not an image they need to see.
9:
They don't think you know how to put shorts on, so they show you. Over and over. Then they include a door hanger that shows you again.
10:
It's painful. But this Baby is worth it!
Yay, for only 17 more weeks!!
4 comments:
Oh my. I feel for you! Cold weather is coming, maybe it won't be so bad... yeah, right.
Oh, this gave me a chuckle.
I made the mistake of letting Donnie watch me try and put just regular tights on for the New Hope Banquet-- he was nice and only laughed...a little ;-) and that was just regular tights at 34 weeks pregnant-- I cant imagine compression hose! yikes!
Wait, are you wearing compression shorts because of circulation issues or just for the heck of it? I put leggings on the other day and wanted to die. I can't imagine...
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