Epiphany

In light of our last small group lesson, An Appetite for God. I am stale, out of joint with God, and trying to keep my head above water relying on my own strength, knowledge, and control. I am ashamed that it has taken me so long to figure it out and now that I am so overwhelmed, a light bulb has turned on. I have prayed for about a year now for an ignited fire in my soul, a renewed hunger and desire for God and all His glorious things. What has changed is that God has taken away jobs, friends, my husband, sense of security, etc... so that I am left with more time. I have dreaded this time. To me it was meaningless and empty. I tried to find ways to fill it all the while becoming more and more lonely and upset that no one was around. This time that God was giving me had a catch. I am supposed to use the time seeking and learning HIM. I feel so dumb for not seeing it sooner. The time, I thought was a burden, was my answered prayer. It was staring at me, expectingme to do something with it and all I could think was, "must dust the fan blades". God has set me alone for a purpose, not to make my life miserable (which was my original thought), but for our relationship to grow in a way that it can't with others around. I do miss my husband and all my FL friends and family, but God is up to something good and I gotta stick this out for His glory.