Sometimes All You Can Do is Laugh

The last few days, I've been parenting alone. My better half is helping with a project out of State.

My Parenting Fails have been interesting. Here they are for your entertainment.

Thurs. Morning- I awoke to Wild Thing #1 standing next to my head, informing me that his ride to school was here. I'd slept through my alarm. Now I needed to get all kids out the door and deposit #1 at school...LATE, which meant walking him into the Office. Declaring that as of 2005, I no longer had a brain and am not capable of getting anywhere on time. Pretty sure they knew that as I had not changed out of my slippers. Oops.

Thurs. Afternoon- Wild Thing #2 has found a personal, personal hygiene item and begins using is as a trumpet. Yuck.

Thurs. Evening- I was annoyed that I couldn't figure out why I kept smelling wet, grassy, Florida humidity, mildewy smells all day. I leaned over during small group, to pray, and discovered it was my sandals. Um... Yeah!

Friday. Morning- While clipping Wild Thing #3's nails, #2 leans in to observe what I'm doing. Toenail #1 flies into her mouth. Then instructing her to spit it out, toenail #2 flies out and hits me in the eye. Temporary blindness.

5 days left... I'm sure there will be more installments.

Proverbs 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Sunsets like this...

... Remind me that my Mom is seeing this sunset from the perfect side. I'm seeing the flawed side.
Oh, how much more beautiful it will be on the Heaven side...

Rodeo: The Cancer Makes your Heart Hurt- Edition

This was what I had written just before my last trip to Florida:

It's through tears that I write this. I'm sort of sick and hurt inside all at once.
Cancer.
Cancer used to be something that I didn't know personally, only through friends who have had someone dear to them go through it
Now I'm better acquainted with it and its devastating mark that it's leaving on my family. Honestly, I want it to all go away. But the visual images of my Momma are real.
Too real.
Too close.
Too painful.
The phone call today from home brought the real-ness back to meet me 900+ miles away.
"The Dr.'s have nothing encouraging," said the voice on the other line.
So the thoughts go...Really?
God, SAVE my MOM!
I know YOU can!
Just show up, make Your presence known and show this cancer who's boss!
This is too painful.
Too uncomfortable.
Too much.

Then, as I try to sort through my emotions myself, like an idiot.
God brings to mind this verse,
2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.

Give me faith God! Even when I can't see Your work or the reason.
Help me remember that You are still good all the time and this is for good and Your glory.

8/24/12 and 9/13/12

So, God didn't choose to save my Mom. At least, not in the physical sense. My Mom went to Heaven on Sunday, August 5th. We had a family dinner.  Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Nieces, Nephews, Moms, Husbands, and Grandkids were all there.
My Mom always wanted to have "Sunday Family Dinner" where everyone could come and enjoy family time. She got exactly that the evening she went to be with Jesus.
These years without her are not going to be easy, but I know the Truth.
My goal is Heaven!
Is God still good?
Yes, He is! Even when it's hard to understand on this side of Eternity.
He is Good.

Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

About my Mom...

My Mom is a unique lady.
Strong. Courageous. Outgoing. Wise. A giver.
She has an amazing God-given ability to relate to many people, and make you feel loved and uplifted as an individual at the same time.
She's a listener and sort of a female version of Macgyver.
Great sense of humor!
She's quick, had great comebacks.
She never met a stranger, people were drawn to her. She once told me, in the middle of my teenage embarrassment, that she talks to as many people as possible because, "You'll never know when you'll need an alibi." I'm pretty sure she was serious. Some other noteworthy things about my Mom:

Never be caught without floss. It has many uses, not just for your teeth.
She married a firefighter because she LOVED fire :)
She never stopped learning people. While growing up if we were going through something, phases, or what not, she'd write the things she tried and try new things until something clicked.
She and Dad made sacrifices for us and our kids. Their motto, "Come as often as you can, whenever you can. There is always space and time for you."
Her love language is gift giving. She loved to watch people when they opened gifts, she'd pick out with them in mind.
She LOVED to travel.
She appreciated the Outdoors. LOVED camping. And was always willing to try new things. I'll never forget, as our Girl Scout Leader, took us Primitive Camping. Primitive, people.
She embraced change.
She LOVED good, strong coffee.
She shared her faith, Lauren (9) commented today that it was Grammy that showed her how to become a Christian (praise God!)
She had a passion for Lighthouses
Her dream car was a Red Hard-Top Jeep or an Original Hummer
People confided in her. She is a great friend.
Her servant heart spoke VOLUMES without words.

Please, pray that her legacy of selfless love, compassion, and service will continue for many generations, not just with my family, but with all the lives she's touched with hers.

Rodeo: No Fear Edition

So I admit it. I've been avoiding writing about the issues we're struggling with at the Rodeo.
It's hard to face them, speak about them, and sort through all the emotions that fly around inside my head on a daily basis.
Truth is I've been limping.

I hope to write about each one of these in depth but here's the clif notes version:

Travis' eyes. He will never have any depth perception and has been diagnosed with a list of 5 abnormalities of the eyes.

My sweet momma was diagnosed with Cancer. No warnings. Just Stage 4, right out of the blue. Currently, still no origin point.

Truett's head. Possible Craniosynostosis. We thought we were in the clear- until our appointment on Monday.

Much of life has been a struggle for many friends. Our small group has been rocked. I asked why. I was questioning. I was angry. I was knocked down and then feeling pummeled by another huge wave as I tried to get up.

On Father's Day, our Church had it's yearly Baby Dedication. As I stood on the platform, holding a sleeping Truett side-by-side with my wonderful husband, I reflected on the questions being asked and answered.
One question/comment that has stuck with me is that we do not own our children.
They are gifts. Life is a gift.
Lengthy or short.
Life is a gift. I cannot hide my children from life. It happens and passes regardless.

NO FEAR in life, NO FEAR in death.
With open hands, I give my life and my children's lives to the Creator of Life.

I asked my Momma a week or so ago if she was anxious about the test results that were promised a month ago, but have not come back. She simply said, if it were up to her, she'd be anxious. But since it's up to the One who hemmed her in, No. She's at peace.
Of course in my rebellion, I wanted to scream and huff in anger on her account before God.
But really, How can I question the Ultimate Authority on Life?
God commands everyone's destiny.
So here's the truth I learned.
God's way of making you more like Jesus is through life, struggles, trials, cancer, bad eyes, and overlapping sutures.
Simple. No Fear in Life.

Down to the nitty-gritty.
Monday was a follow-up for Truett. We'd even thought about cancelling the appt.
Ha.
Good one God.
The Ped. Craniofacial Specialist (Special Agent Head, as I like to call him), doesn't like Truett's head proportions. The difference is increasing. He also couldn't feel an open suture on the back part of the top (sagital). He recommends a CT scan to rule out any problems. Please pray that all will go well with the CT. It's on Mon. the 25th. at 10am. Truett will have to be under anethesia and not be able to eat 4 hrs prior.
Prayers appreciated.

This is my favorite song. Even more dear to me now.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all-in-all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that Cross, as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain.

Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny.

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand
Here in the power of Christ alone

Blogs are what bring us together

Is it 6 degrees of separation or is it 7? I forget.
I do know that I experienced just how small of a World we live in. Not only that, but a peek at how being in the Body of Christ and praying for a family, you don't know, makes you feel like you're old friends. At least on my part, I cannot speak for her. However, if I were her, I would love to have her hair.
Did that sound creepy?
I meant that in a completely non- creepy way.

Anyway, 6 or 7 degrees...Take this scenario for example:

I moved to KY, met a girl who became a real life friend, Cydney.
Cydney went to a College where she met and knows a girl named Katie and a girl named Kat.
I went to High School with Katie.
Katie was good friends with Kathleen, who also went to High School with me.
Kathleen is friends with Kat.
From Kat, we get Jen C. who takes lovely photos (Blueberry Lunch) and has beautiful children.
It's also important to note at this point that her husband's name is Thom... Jen and Thom's are meant to be together.
From Jen C., we get Sarah B.
Sarah B. has beautiful red hair and has adorable boy/girl twins. Twins, I'm assuming are an instant magnet in any situation, so hopefully, my recognizing her in a parking lot was not too scary.
At this point in my story, I met Sarah B. in the Mellow Mushroom parking lot in Winter Park.
I was a lunatic, carrying a pizza box and trying to hurry T and Lj to the car, when I walked over to her and introduced myself.
Sarah B. has a 5 mo. old named Truett.

So, just like that we talked, and I felt connected to her world through blogs and prayer.
Investing in people, just like God intended.

No time, but...

...He's Here and He's sweet!
He's hungry and has huge feet!
He would have weighed 8lbs, biggest baby yet.
But then he pooped all over, and lost a little bit.

Truett Nathaniel
March 22, 2012
1:15pm